Masikit

Christmas, it's not anywhere a joyful time of year. It is the time for miserable things to happen and to reflect on the grief and pain that occurs. It is a time that makes everything about you just want to leave. Sorrow and that feeling deep inside come out and force everything to rip you to shreds and pull you apart. I can no longer bear all this pain.

I am literally going to lock myself in my room for several days and talk to no one. I can't sort things out. I am unable to do anything about the things that have happened, I very much don't enjoy suffering because of these events. The people who took place can go fuck themselves, because of all of it, I have forgiven all but one of you, and the ones I forgave have taken that for granted. I refuse to let that happen.

I have had nothing but torment since that day. I wake up and I feel like I won't make it through the day. Masking everything seems to be simple for me but just in my mind I feel like I am being destroyed and ripped up from the inside out. It's almost like everything I felt, thought, or sought have been for nothing and it tortures me. I can't stand this tormented feeling.